Friday, June 25, 2021

Oui, the North!

Yeah, I know that's Eric Staal's number. Humour me. Because mon dieu et tabarnak, the Habs are going to the Stanley Cup Finals!!!! How do you like them apples — er, maples, Gary Bettman? Who doesn't love a great underdog Cinderella story, in the midst of a once-in-a-century pandemic at that? #GoHabsGo!!!

. . .

There's so much to celebrate about this unlikely young team and this most unusual playoff run. They clinched their trip to the finals on the national holiday of all French-Canadians, a major celebration in Quebec in particular. There was a full moon outside... a "strawberry moon," encircled with a white halo in a midnight sky — bleu, blanc, et rouge. They beat the franchise expansion team that greasy Gary opened up instead of putting one in Quebec City. They got a boost from Céline Dion after Vegas used her likeness on the JumboTron to troll them, without her knowledge!
 
 
And they are now Canada's team to root for, after what has been an utterly grueling year.
 
What more can I say? Except that all eyes for a potential MVP have been on the young goalie, Carey Price — an Indigenous man, playing for a country that is facing a painful but necessary reckoning over its treatment of Indigenous peoples past and present. If for nothing else, I want the team to win just for that reason.

Also worth noting is that his mom was reelected as the chief of the First Nations band council she represents, and the first thing Carey mentioned in his postgame interview was how proud he is of her. You can't watch this clip and not be moved. That man has heart. His people have courage and heart.

Plus, he's a great goalie. He's the closest thing Canada will ever have to a bigly tremendous wall against the United Shtates. Yuge. Believe me. And either Tampa or New York are gonna pay for it. Hey Vegas, soory not soory... the Price is right, bitch!


So a tip of the hat to Les Boys on this Saint Jean-Baptiste Day, this Fête Nationale. Three cheers for the Bleu, Blanc et Rouge. I guess love really is a victory march, eh Mr. Cohen? Hallelujah!

Now, as much as it would be ill-advised not to keep politics out of this celebration... who am I kidding? After all, the last time the Habs won a cup in 1993, Jean Chrétien gave the Cons one helluva Shawinigan Handshake (actually, they destroyed themselves, pretty much). Just picture the possibility of Quebec's home team coming back to la belle province to hoist the cup with... Quebec's home prime minister. How many voters you think would come to associate the Liberals as Quebec's home party?

Man, that'd take the hot air out of Blanchet, Singh and O'Toole's pee wee pretend game, wouldn't it? Because... well, it's not like there isn't precedent for a Canada-wide sporting championship being a boon to Justin Trudeau's fortunes in a key battleground in an election year... like, say, Toronto in 2019? Where the premier getting booed only helped Trudeau even more — and was fun to watch:

This time, if the Habs go all the way, Trudeau at the parade can only be helped by coasting on François Legault's popularity, rather than contrasting himself with Doug Ford's, uh............... Doug Ford-ishness.

Speaking of Toronto, though (and Doug Ford), a few words about the city's own beleaguered hockey squad are in order here. My only consolation to offer to long-suffering Leafs fans is this: strange things happen in the universe when sporting curses are broken. As I've told a few people elsewhere on the Interwebs, I'm referring specifically to how the Cubs won a World Series in 2016, and then Biff Tannen moved into the White House. It could very well be that the hockey gods have determined that the Leafs need to perpetually sacrifice themselves so that Canada doesn't suffer the scourge of Prime Minister Biff Ford. (After all, Ontario took one for the team so that Canada didn't end up with PM Scheer.)

But I digress, and I'm getting ahead of myself here. Let's just enjoy this moment while it lasts, and then go on to win the whole big dance. That goes for the Liberals too: bring home that majority and make us all proud. Who knows, perhaps the playoff beard is having a payoff? 🙃


Can Trudeau beat Harper again?

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Why, I know a fine fancy letter called FUDDLE. I use it in spelling Miss Fuddle-dee-Duddle. And, oh! What a bird-of-a-bird-of-a-bird-of! Her tail is the longest that’s ever been heard of.

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About (er, Aboot, eh)

The world needs more Canada. Especially the elephant in the bed. I'm an American observer peeking over the hedge, writing about Canadian politics and culture — including foreign relations with its nearest (and most unpredictable) neighbour — from my unlucky perch south of the 49th parallel.

Frequent Former (for now?) commenter at Wonkette (as the Girl Guide, resident south-of-the-border Trudeau stan) and as Jackie at Simon's blog.

Unapologetic supporter of the Liberal Party of Canada and Team Trudeau (aka the "Tru Grits"), and the Democratic Party USA. (Yes, unapologetic. I'll never say soory for that.)

Proud "Liberal Psycho," according to irascible Maclean's douchebag Stephen Maher, the other political white guy named Maher as annoying and abusive as Bill. Honoured to be a member of Jake Tapper's TruAnon.

I also write The Canadian Fishwrap Project, a media criticism blog. The #CdnMediaFailed, so I'mma keep calling 'em out.

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