Flippin' the Bird

Yesterday was Yankee Thanksgiving, a month after Canada's holiday that I forgot to write about here. Parliament's return means more feathers flying in the Commons chamber courtesy of one Skippy the pigeon. So while I was up last night, I couldn't help but think of a new way to roast the silly bird...

 

. . .

 

I'm an insomniac. I also don't get out much and have become even more secluded thanks to the dumb clucks who won't get vaccinated. Now there's a new COVID strain (Omicron, more like Omigod, amirite?) that's all but ensured I'm going to be inside this birdcage for awhile longer (and a lot of other people will too). So now that I'm back in lockdown, what to do once the Charlie Brown special is over (and Vince Guaraldi's "Little Birdie" gets stuck in my head) but watch clips of a certain Canadian trick pigeon getting swatted down by a very adept bird trainer?

 

 

Pierre Pollywanacraka was parroting GOP nonsense about inflation this week, the economic kind that for whatever reason also has an effect of puffing up his ego like, well, an overpumped balloon at the Macy's parade. First round of Question Period, in direct confrontation to the Finance Minister:

 

"Mr. Speaker, how much wood would a pecker... uh... ha ha ha HA ha..."

 

Yeah, he's a troublemaker all right. Anyway, I don't actually eat turkey or any of the traditional fixin's; I normally opt for an Italian layout of pasta and meatballs, though I don't mind pumpkin pie. So since I didn't have any tryptophan in my system to alleviate my normal sleeplessness, once I did finally hit the lights, I found myself musing parody song lyrics in lieu of counting blessings or sheep.

What follows is, I think, a fun profile in Canadian parliamentary feathered follies. Apologies in advance to the great Stephen Bishop.

Down there in Carleton they've got
One annoying pigeon
Sometimes I wish that he would
Just fly south
Down there in Carleton they've got
One annoying pigeon
Flaps his wings and struts and
Runs his mouth

On and on
(Blah blah blah)
On and on
(Yada yada)
On and on
(Dot dot dot)
On and on
(Et cetera et cetera)
On and on
On and on
On and on

Down there in Carleton they've got
One annoying pigeon
Proud as a peacock when he's
On TV
Down there in Carleton they've got
One annoying pigeon
Money for nothing but he
Tweets for free

On and on
(Blah blah blah)
On and on
(Yada yada)
On and on
(Dot dot dot)
On and on
(Et cetera et cetera)
On and on
On and on
On and on

Down there in Carleton they've got
One annoying pigeon
Dumb as a dodo, he's a
Real odd duck
Down there in Carleton they've got
One annoying pigeon
I shake my head, keep saying
"What the cluck?"

On and on
(Blah blah blah)
On and on
(Yada yada)
On and on
(Dot dot dot)
On and on
(Et cetera et cetera)
On and on
On and on
On and on

Down there in Carleton they've got
One annoying pigeon
Perched like a vulture on

O'Toole's bald head
Down there in Carleton they've got
One annoying pigeon
He'll keep squawking until
We're all dead

On and on
(Blah blah blah)
On and on
(Yada yada)
On and on
(Dot dot dot)
On and on
(Et cetera et cetera)
On and on
On and on
On and on

On and on
On and on
On and on

And now without further ado... the B-side! Oh, no...